You know what I hate? I hate waking up before my alarm clock ticks off. I feel like I’ve wasted some good seconds or minutes of sleeping because I woke up too early. I hate ruining my manicure just because I was getting some cash on my wallet to give tip to my manicurista. And so she’s gonna have to do it all over again. It pisses me off how I’ve spent God knows how many overtime just so I could finish a quotation for a client and be able to give them good service, and then the next day they suddenly have a change of heart. Worse is, they’ll be ignoring your calls as if you’re a goddamn nobody. All your efforts have been put to waste, how great is that? And I fucking hate it when you know deep inside your heart that you’ve poured all your efforts, body and soul, you even ditches good parties just because you’ve got job to do, and some lame asshole takes credit for all that hard work you did. I know life is unfair but – GODDAMMIT!! That person doesn’t know any shit about what I’ve been through just to get that sale! People will say ‘Your time will come’ blah blah blah please, cut the crap. It was my time but that stupid asshole took it away from me. It’s just… so fucking unfair…
But you know what I really hate? Is that how old people doesn’t live and act up to their ages. Now I’m not saying that I’m all mature and that I always know what I’m doing, no. All I’m saying is, I’m 25 years old and trust me when I tell you that with my age, I’ve seen, heard and been through a lot than most people ever did and I can tell you that surprising as it may seem but I’m fucking more mature than you are. Yes I am. Yeah, you may think I’m just a kid because I’m all girly-girl because I love color pink and that I change nail polish every week or that I enjoy eating gummy bears every once in a while. But at least I don’t use people to my advantage. I don’t manipulate people and make them believe me when I say I care about them when I even don’t. At least I don’t think about myself and what people are gonna say about me because I did this and I did that and bottom-line is I’m freakin’ happy. Surprise, I’m selfless that way.
Tell you what, I don’t act and response because I’m being threatened or out of vengeance because honestly, I’m not stupid. If there are things that troubles me, I think about it. I think through it and think about it over again. I don’t just act because I gotta look after myself, you know why? Because my every actions and every word that I say will not only affect me but it will have an effect to the people surrounding me; these people that I care about the most and loves me. Can you think about the people who cares about you? Can you do that? How broken-hearted they will be just because you were too selfish to even care? Can you think about them and just for one second not take them for granted. Do this for yourself, not for me or anybody else.
And don’t you just hate it when people keep on telling you what to do and what to say, what you should’ve done and should’ve said. I got seven words for y’all; YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. Before you look into my life and dictate what’s the best for me and judging me for every actions that I did, try to take a good, long, hard look at yourself first. Do you like what you see? Do you like where you’re at? Are you happy with your life? Yeah… thought so. So just get off my back, okay? I can’t bear the fact that people are disappointment with me or that some people are angry at me at times, that’s how sensitive I am. But then I’m not here to make friends with people who can’t even understand me or not even try to listen to what I gotta say, most of all I’m not here to please everybody. I know how the world works and sometimes, things just can’t go on your way. I made peace with that, but can you? And I’m not even being righteous about things, at least not like the way you do. But one thing I know for sure is that there is no weakness in forgiving. I do stuff, I say stuff, I swear a lot and I make mistakes but that doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person or that it gives you the right to put yourself in a pedestal above me. I respect your opinions and you should respect mine, this is the way I say it is. I’m not writing this to hurt your feelings, just put it this way, my criticism implies to you, you hurt my feelings a while ago.
This is my life, so please stop making it about yourselves. I love you, I care about you and you’re my friends, but please you gotta stop. You gotta get off my back and you gotta grow up, one point or another. You gotta stop just thinking about what’s best only for you, everything is not about you. It’s a cynical, cynical world out there but if you can’t handle what I’m saying, then you won’t make it alive out there. Some day you’re gonna forget about this and let’s just say I’m pretty much having a hard week, that’s all.