I’m struggling to find the right words on how to best explain how I’m feeling right now, or even how to construct the words that’s been boggling in my mind as of the moment. Its 4:11 am in my clock yet sleep won’t visit me. So I’d rather write to you, my faithful reader and hope you’ll patiently try to understand all these things I’m about to tell you even though I don’t make perfect sense.

Let’s start with, I’m happy.

One of the most anticipated happenings of my week is the small reunion of me and high school friends. We’ve been friends since forever and even though we don’t see each other that often, since most of them are working in Singapore, social network and modern technology truly helped a lot in keeping us all in touch with one another. Our good friend from Singapore, Leyn is on a quick home-vacation til Tuesday so earlier this evening we hanged out in Ortigas and had fun. Our group is composed of different genders with different personalities, interests, and beliefs yet somehow even until now, it amazes us how we have managed to survive this Friendship we now call Family. We all met in high school, we came from different cliques, we can’t even remember how we started being friends, but we just are. Throughout the years, many dilemmas, arguments, dramas have occurred, too much history, twisted love-lives, people came and soon were gone, crazy episodes, success and failures, challenging intrigues, relationship/family/work problems, hellos and goodbyes, name it; we have surpassed them all and we still are embracing the process of doing so.

My BFF Rhona, me, Leyn, Kevin, EG and Toto at Ortigas

This was taken at my place during our Christmas get-together last year.
We were cheering for our friend Marie who were in Italy during this time.

This was taken at Leyn’s place during our Christmas party, I think 2006 or 2007

This was taken during my birthday, I can’t remember which year. We were hugging Rhona because she was scheduled to leave for UK that year.

There is no such thing as a “perfect group of friends.” No matter how you love each other or how well you get along, there will always come a time when you can’t guarantee who will hold on to the friendship for how long or who will breakaway too soon. Last year we’ve witnessed two of our friends drift apart because of selfishness and being too selfless. It was a sad, sad thing because we’ve known them as real friends and yet they fell apart because of lack of understanding and forgiveness. And soon the other person has decided to end the friendship from the rest of us, for good. Then half the group has decided to work and live abroad because the employment system here in the country is not enough to provide a better living. The distance is a bitch but we all have endured it and patiently waited till the coming-home, just like today. This year, an unexpected romance sprang from friendship, yes I’m talking about me and you-know-who, but unluckily we let our differences and pride get in the way of a ‘could have been a happy ever after.’

It was great seeing Leyn again after all the drama that has happened during this year! Whew! 

Kevin, me and Rhona were supporting our friend in his show at Metro Bar WestAve.

This was taken at Getaway Commonwealth during one of Marie’s visits from Singapore.

This photo was taken at UP Ayala Hub last June during Marie’s visit, again from Singapore.

But despite the drama and adversities, truly a rainbow always shows up after the rain. And as the tagalog saying goes: Huhupa din ang baha. And apparently it did, and we always find time to celebrate even the tiniest to the grandest victories of any of us. Like how proud we are of our friend who passed that damn board exam! Whew! Such a close call! Haha And soon-to-plan an engagement party for my BFF whom I love so dearly! Our four bachelors is now down to three because the other one luckily found his other half and we couldn’t be more happier for them than to see him finally settled. We have our fair shares of love stories (that sometimes sucks) and you can’t help feeling envious when you see four of your girlfriends finally found happiness in the arms of their beaus. But also you are happy for them as you join the count down to the day where the bells will be ringing and witness them exchanging their vows.

This is EG, my best guy bud, visiting our girlfriends in Singapore.

Awww.. the lovely couples. Leyn and Barn (upper picture) and Marie with Lloyd who are all happily residing in Singapore 🙂 

I’m with Punky, the first married guy in the group! 🙂 and Toto, our magnificent alcohol mixer.

So the truth is I really am happy as I see my friends having a great time listening to the live performer on stage (that kinda sucked by the way hahaha) while toasting glasses and puffing cigars earlier this night as we catch up on the latest happenings in each other’s lives. But I also can’t hide the void inside me as I see him sit there and casually chat with our friends. I’ve been avoiding his eyes all night, afraid that I might give away some emotions that I shouldn’t have because the last thing that I wanna do is to brought up tension that might lead to awkwardness, well that’s kinda expected already, but I wouldn’t do that to my friends. To be honest, I was anticipating that I’d be breaking down as I enter my still and empty house because my brother is out of town and since the break-up; I’ve been avoiding the ringing silence of being alone. But amazingly, I handled it pretty well. And I can’t help but feel proud of myself. Hahaha

This was taken during Marie’s older brother’s wedding in Subic.

Rhona, Marie and I.

L-R Patrick (Rhona’s fiancée), Rhona, Punky, Toto, Marie, Marie’s beau Lloyd and me.

We always invite my best gay friend Bianka, during our get-togethers.

I’m glad that he came and managed to act courteous in front of our friends because I know how he missed hanging out with them. And since the break-up he has withdrawn himself not just from me, but from our friends as well, and I can’t help but feel sad about it because he should be getting the same support system from our friends as I do. And as I saw him in the parking lot, I’m figuring out how I truly feel and only until now did I see it all clearly; despite the oppressive history between us, him showing up tonight means that he’s ready to gradually be friends with me again and so am I. It may take a while but we’ll soon get there. Maybe that’s why I feel so serene right now, because it may not be the closure that we both deserve or expecting but I know it’s better this way. Besides we’ve started off as friends, so there’s no harm in putting the past behind us and start anew by just being friends again.

This was taken during our night out in Subic, me, Leyn and Odi.

Awww!!!! We’re all teary-eyed because this was taken during Marie’s send-off party to Singapore few years ago.

These are our friends who are happily residing and working in Singapore. (L-R) Hansel, Marie, Jobelle, Barn, Karen, Leyn and Hansel’s wife, Hannie. 

(pictures courtesy of mine and my friends’ FB accounts)

So cheers to starting anew and friends to cherish forever!




7 comments on “F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

  1. Hi KC. It’s nice to see you having fun with your friends….but not tonight huh! Not much fun being alone when you are used to your family and friends around. Well you have your bloggy friends. I bit impersonal but it’s something and a kind word here and there helps so much. You didn’t call me on the other post so I’ll have to go on out into blogland and see if I can find another woman friend *tear rolling down cheek*. I will still follow you to see what your next antic will be. Hugs. Ralph xx

    • hey I’m sorry if I weren’t able to respond on my other post. thanks for being a good friend Ralph, and don’t tear down on me! hahaha I’d be sad as well 🙂 yeah, it kinda sucked being alone today and I’m really missing my family. This past few weeks has been truly hard on me that’s why earlier this morning I couldn’t help but breakdown… I had a good cry though and I’m feeling much much better now 🙂 thanks a lot xoxo

  2. Girl, you’re blessed with all those friends – you’re such a good teller too – with humor and enjoy. Just as we all should be when thinking about our friends. Love this post … and as Ralph said – go for it, girl. *smile

    • thank you for the sweet compliment. yeah they’re great and awesome!

      last night, my other friends from my neighborhood brought me pizza and great laugh and because of them I slept with a smile on my face 🙂

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