Everyday I’m answering questions.
- What should I have for breakfast?
- What’s the program flow for the upcoming event?
- Have you finished the design proposal?
- When should I get my car cleaned?
- Do you have any plans in going to Italy?
- Are you enjoying your job?
All these questions are answerable with just a blink of an eye. But as I was talking to some friends last night, I was asked with a lot of questions that made me stutter and went suddenly blank.
“What’s with that guy that you love about? What keeps you staying when you know your life would be much easier if you’d just move on and let it go?”
I’m not sure if I can answer it correctly. Besides, love is never wrong or right. That you can’t be judged with loving someone based on the correct numbers or formulas that you’ve written or the essays that made perfect sense.
I know there are thousand reasons why I shouldn’t pursue this stupidity called love. Sure, my life would be much easier, sure my days would be brighter, sure this load in my chest would be lifted, sure I can still keep the pride or what’s left of it. All these things are in the back of my head, I haven’t forgotten them, but there’s this tiny little voice that is wishing to be heard and screams at the top of his lungs that I love him. As simple as that.
“Then why do you still stay?”
Honestly, I don’t even know. I can’t even sum them into words. I just believe that I’m gonna love him through it. Every woman has given up on him because they don’t see his worth and they don’t see him the way I do. They don’t see what he needs beyond love and affection.
“And you think you can give it to him?”
I can always try.
“Why do you love him?”
It’s like loving your favorite dessert, for example an apple pie. It’s your favorite pie among all the delicious pies ever invented. It’s a very common dessert, very normal in the first glance, but you keep on looking for it in the menu anyway. You sure enjoy eating an apple alone, or different recipes with apple in it. But somehow when you taste a spoonful of that pie, you enjoy all the flavors at the same time, the balance of the crust and softness of the apple filling. You can’t summarize what the other flavors are but you know they’re there and glad that they are because they help make that pie whole. You know that the main and most important ingredient is the apple but you also know that without the rest of the ingredients, no matter how good or bad the other tasted solely, without them it wouldn’t come up as delicious as it is. And all together they make a perfect pie.
That for me is the closest thing on how to explain why I love this person. He’s got his shortcomings, he’s not at his best all the time, he says or did something that sometimes I don’t agree upon, and the good and bad things about him makes him who he is. And I know I wouldn’t have him any other way.
I know it doesn’t make perfect sense. But do I have to?
You know, it’s just the way it is…