Title: I Try
Artist: Macy Gray
Album: On How Life Is
This song may be released during the 90’s but it still struck me as if I just heard it yesterday. I heard this song again this morning and suddenly all the emotions came rushing into me once more and I’ve been singing this inside my head during my whole drive to work and I can’t seem to take this song off my mind. I feel like I’m in Macy Gray’s shoes and I just want to sing at the top of my lungs!!! 😦
Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
The first verse talks about the current situation of her relationship. She talks about games, changes and fears. You can’t avoid to play games, you know, like chasing and guessing games. But it gets really confusing especially when the both of you have a lot of hold-backs and issues that you can’t lay on the table. Then there are changes that makes you wonder, am I still in-love with the same person that I knew before or can you still be with that someone despite the changes that occurred? Then there comes the fear of losing and being neglected by your loved one.
And we should be together babe
But we’re not
I play it off, but I’m dreaming of you
And I’ll keep my cool, but I’m fiendin’
When there are a lot of issues surrounding your relationship and problems bigger than yourselves, it just feels impossible to manage your grasp and keep holding on. And the only solution to this is to just let go even when you know you should be together. She tries to keep it cool, keep up a straight face and prove to everyone including herself that she’s totally fine with it and she’s being nonchalant but deep inside it’s tearing her apart.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
It’s crazy how you wake up each morning and utter to yourself “The show must go on.” It may seem easy to go on each day and put on that mask about how you take things light and manage to just walk away and hide all the hurt behind those smiles. But with every word you say to convince yourself that you’d survive this, you always choke up. With every step you take to get as far away as possible, all the memories just brings you back to the beginning. And no matter how you show the people around you that you’re doing along fine and breezy and all that shit, but deep inside you know your world is just a hollow soul without him.
I may appear to be free
But I’m just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
You thought you were strong enough to deal with this since you’ve had your heart broken a couple of times already but this one just took you by surprise. You thought you’d be able to be free from all this, but you know you’ll always be a prisoner of that love, a love that has indisputably stole your whole heart and your whole being and there’s no way to get it back. This smile that you show is not enough to hide the mark of dried tears you solely endured every waking hour of every day.
Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can’t deny