I hated being fat. Since 2010, I’ve started gaining weight and I blame my ex for it. I knew I was getting fat, he witnessed me getting fat but every time I ask him the most-insecure-question a girl has to ask: DO I LOOK FAT? He always replies “Nope, you still look hot.” Truly, men are good with lies. And us, girls, are stupid enough to fall for it all the time.
I was never the skinny type. I claim myself as a “big-boned-chick” (which is another excuse for girls like me not to be called fat :p) or in tagalog, “malaking bulas.” I like my body type, I like my height but if I was blessed with a few more inches and a Victoria’s Secret Top Model bod, that wouldn’t hurt as well. :)
During my adolescent years, I was never particular with what I eat. I LOVE EATING. Esp. desserts, all kinds of desserts! YUM! :) Besides, from high-school to college days I’ve been playing volleyball and dancing my fats away, like I said I was never skinny but I was fit and slim.
Those were the days…
I missed those days when I feel like I’m gaining weight I’d run every morning at 6am and skip a couple of meriendas then after a few days I’d be back with my old shape. But now, even if I drink 2 cups of slimming coffee a day or punch my frustrating fats in the punching bag for hours, and yet that stupid belly won’t go away!
But since “you-know-who” (I decided to start naming him that way :)) and I have these arguments for almost a month now and the demands of my work is getting impossible to deal with, I started losing weight. (YES!) More often than not, I’d be surprised when I check the time and it’s already 3pm and I haven’t eaten anything yet!? Or sometimes I’m too lonely and preoccupied with our fight that I’ve lost the appetite to eat so I’ll just bury myself with my work or unfinished books. And when I feel hungry, I’d go to nearby 7-11 or mall to grab something to eat but I’d be overwhelmed with too much food in front of me that I’d end up buying noodles or biscuits instead. Sometimes I’d just grab a coffee and then that’s it! I survived the whole day!
Some of my friends who haven’t seen me in a while were generally shocked to see how much I’ve lost some weight. And my usual response would be a shrug in the shoulder, timid smile and a reply, “I dunno, stress I guess.” yyeeeaaaaahhhhh this damn stress is getting on my nerves. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m whining about finally losing some weight but I’m not also a fan of eating disorders. But somehow I just couldn’t find the will and the energy to eat. I guess I missed my buddy who also shares my fancy in eating.
What surprised me the most, was yesterday morning: I was wearing a skin-tight leggings and loose, pastel-colored shirt with of course, my 5-inch high heels and arranged my hair in a bun. I looked like a ballerina, actually :) I was walking inside the showroom, and as I passed a mirror I saw my reflection. And I noticed that my collarbones are starting to show, my hips are getting leaner, I’ve lost a layer of my belly (LOL) my eyes are getting deeper and my butt! My then full and bouncy butt seems to be disappearing ! And to my horror I suddenly exclaimed, “OMG! WHERE THE HELL IS MY ASS???” And my colleague annoyingly replied, “Duh?! Behind you, girl.”
I love my ass! LOL As crazy as it sounds but I’ve always considered it as my ass-et! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Now that I’ve lost a couple of pounds, my ass seems to be disappearing as well. My dream of having an ass like Kim Kardashian’s seems like a lost cause already?! hahahahaha Can I just eat and eat but then all the fats will go directly to my buttocks instead??!
I hate working out but I’m gonna check out the Yoga class on the 15th floor in our building. Time to stretch for a change :)