My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: he believed in me. ~Jim Valvano
They say that the hardest obligation ever invented is to become a father; You have be a provider, a teacher, a role model, and most importantly a distant authority figure who should be feared and followed by his children. And true enough, being a father is one hell of a job. And I admire all the fathers in the world who has done a great job in doing so.
Somehow I’d like to think that being a father isn’t an obligation, it’s a choice. I’ve known a lot of couple who got themselves pregnant and got married at a young age. Yes, the men took the responsibility of being the father to their girlfriend’s child because they have no choice, its right there in front of them but doesn’t have the passion of being a father-figure. Sadly, most of them even urged their partners to commit abortion just for the sake of being obligation-free. And for the other couple, the lucky one. The guy is being a man who knows how to wait and made sure that everything is best provided for, for his future family. So, yeah, being a father is a choice.
I remember a conversation with my dad a few years ago. I heard my mom and dad arguing about his recent night-out with his friends. I guess my mom got pissed because he went home late and maybe a bit doubtful if they went to a brothel or what! haha One of the best things about my dad is that whenever he and my mom are arguing, he makes sure that me and siblings wouldn’t hear a thing or notice it at all. I guess its his way of protecting us. So anyway, being opinionated as I am, I talked to him. I asked him if there’s a possibility that he’ll be having an affair. I’ve asked a lot of people this same question and obviously, they got taken aback by it. Most of them would react negatively and would start defending themselves or whatever just to justify that they won’t. Well, it was different with my dad. Of course he was surprised by my question and he took a moment to respond and he told me “Child, in every marriage that possibility is always in the corner. But one thing I learned from being a father and a husband to you and your mom and siblings, is that raising one family is a dedication yet hard enough. And adding a mistress would just complicate things even more. Why would I wanna do that?” And true enough, I can say that my mom sleeps well every night and worry-free on whether my dad is cheating on her or what 🙂
My dad isn’t perfect. Nobody is. Growing up, I’ve known him as an authoritarian and hot-headed (even up to now haha). Me and my siblings always follows his orders and we always make sure that everything is done accordingly. That’s my dad!!! LOL :p But his efforts on being a “Dad” is incredible. Back then, my mom is in Italy so he’s the one in charge of taking care of us. He’d wake us up at around 5am (such a pain, such a pain) to make ready for school. He’d cook breakfast and prepare hot shower for us, iron our clothes, make baon (packed lunch), and would help us organize our things for school. Since our school is walking distance from our place, sometimes we’d just walk or ride a tricycle. Then after class, we’d have one-on-one tutorials with him. He’d also help us with our assignments and projects. A totally hands-on Dad. He’s really smart and creative. Sometimes he’d crack a joke to my mom and he’d say that we may have gotten our good looks from her, but we got our talents and intelligence from him 🙂 I agree. hahaha
My dad is an entertainer. He’d always crack a joke, dance, sing or whatever! It’s so weird since he has this image of being “macho-balbas-sarado” (macho with beard) but that image would instantly fade away whenever he’s being crazy! haha There’s this one time I was doing my assignment, well people, I hate mathematics or should I say Mathematics hate me! LOL So there’s this math problem that I couldn’t figure out and I asked his help. Its way, way complex and I realized he doesn’t know as well! But knowing my dad, he’d be mocking or amusing instead of admitting he doesn’t know! So he just told me, “Am I the one studying in school? You’re the student, you should know these stuff!” And I was like, “Yeah, right. Whatever Papa!” hahaha
Just like any other dad, he’s very protective of us. When we were kids, we have a curfew of 6pm and we’d pray the rosary together as a family. My friends can come over but not until the wee hours of night. And the boys, oh my god the boys! They are terrified of him. Who wouldn’t be? He looks scary! HAHAHA We’re not allowed to give away our home number, even our cellphone numbers back then or he’d check it from time to time. Now, that’s a stalker! LOL There was this guy who was courting my sister. He was calling our home number and my dad picked up the phone. He was just asking for his name when this guy suddenly freaked out and started calling him names and shouted nasty words to my dad! Of course my dad was FURIOUS!!! The next day, he went to the principal’s office and demand for that guy’s presence! I think that guy got a D in his report card for his ghastly behavior. What a bummer :p
See, I told you. Everyone is scared of my dad, especially me and my siblings! hahaha But behind that scary facade, there a lot of things that people doesn’t know. Like he’s really funny and crazy from time to time. One time my mom called me from abroad. She was crying because she and my dad had a huge fight. She was so upset and that its been days since they’ve spoken to each other. I texted my dad to call me and when he did I was infuriated at him for making mama bear upset. And that I told to patch things up and stop arguing with her etc etc. The next day my mom called again. They did patched things up, wanna know how? Papa Bear did apologized but of course my mom is still a bit upset so she ignored him when all of a sudden my dad went to the window and started stripping his clothes off and yelling to their neighbors “My wife is mad at me! If she won’t talk to me I’d strip all my clothes off!” Now that’s what I call crazy LOL 🙂
During my 18th birthday, he wasn’t able to come since he’s in abroad. And I felt his fear on what might happen now that I’ve come of age. He doesn’t need to tell me, I just knew it. So I told him, “Papa, I’ll always be your little girl…” Honestly, I always have a soft spot for my dad. I love my mom unconditionally but she’s sometimes narrow-minded so we always clash and we don’t normally talk about things that would just lead to fights. But when it comes to my dad, I swear! Even if he doesn’t speak a lot, I’d always find myself crying at him. He always knew the right words to say to make me feel better or that I won’t doubt myself anymore. No matter how many times I’ve let him down he never stopped believing in me and my talents. I remember we were in the province. He was having a drink with his colleagues and I was then about to enter college. I heard him bragging about me and my siblings! That he was proud of our accomplishments in school and our future undertakings. And he’s so thrilled that I’ll be taking up design course because he believes in my talents and he has seen my works and he admires me for it. Hearing him say those things is priceless. Absolutely priceless.
Happy Father’s Day, Papa Bear! I know you’re sadden by the fact that we’re not complete as a family during this special occasion, but time will come and we’ll be whole again. And you’d be surrounded by us, your family who loves you tenderly and we’ll be taking care of you when you grow old. Never in your life would you feel alone and deserted. I love you so much Papa, you’ll always be the number one guy in my life 🙂
Happy Father’s day to all the great dads out there!